Feb 2 evening

Feb 2 2009 pm
so here i sit the eve of Zakary's 4th birthday. i wonder what was going on in china 4 years ago this eve at Zak's birth moms home. Was she at home? was she in a hospital? did she know the sex of her baby? the condition of her baby? was she happy to be giving birth? just what is she thinking and feeling this evening before the birth of her son. I dont know,will never know but cant help but wonder. And tomorrow,after his birth,i too,wonder the same things as this eve. What were her dreams for him,her plans and her expectations? All these things go through my head this eve as i get him tucked in to bed here at his home in America.
I will never know for sure but i will wonder forever what it must have been like for his bio mom. All i know is the good things of his birth, the happy things,the amazing things of him. He is an amazing a sensitive little one,but so strong,so genuine and creative. His imagination is wonderful and his zest for life truly grand.
He has come so far since he has been with us,and still so far to go.
I am so greatful for his birth mom,we think of her each year on moms day and his bday and feel so sad that she was not strong enough to parent him and yet so very lucky that she gave us that privlage. We will not let her down and hope that she knows how happy and glad we are to have him a part of our family and that we also do feel a connection to her,how could we not? she is our sons gene's. She gave him what he is. We are just here to continue on to what he becomes.
thank you thank you for allowing us your son.
Zak and laurel are begining to ask and wonder a bit about adoption,what exactly it means. It is interesting to share with them what it is and what it means,who they are and who they came from. They both seem to accept and feel special from what they hear of adoption thus far,we are glad for this.
Good Night and thank you again,dear mother in China.